Social media undoings
Breaking up used to be a largely personal matter. You could easily toss away all the photos, love letters and anything that is remnant of past relationship, never to be seen again. But social media makes it extremely difficult for people these days to get over their exes. On facebook and WhatsApp, you see their new pictures and statuses pop up all the time. Their lives is so accessible that you find yourself stalking all the pictures you had with them. And you find yourself missing those moments with this person. And you find yourself wanting them all over again. And that’s when things can get dangerous.
Being a friend of divorcing partners
I begin to think this is what it must be like to be a friend of divorcing partners. Before, there was one truth, one story, one reality; now there are two. Each side accuses the other, and amid the raised voices, the unappeasable points of view, the vitriol and distress, the obfuscation and exaggeration and blame, the only thing that is demonstrably clear is that one side is ruder than the other. Seems to me that even if you didn’t know what they were arguing about, you would have to come to that conclusion.
It just sound disingenuous to cause a social faux pass with your personal issues altogether. Deal with it within your faculty.
Before, there was one truth, one story, one reality; now there are two. Each side accuses the other, and amid the raised voices, the unappeasable points of view, the vitriol and distress, the obfuscation and exaggeration and blame, the only thing that is demonstrably clear is that one side is ruder than the other.
Post Break up Competition
Whenever a couple calls it quits, they begin to engage in a race of petty display of who can move on quicker or appear happier to the world. Cluttering up social media with constant updates of how awesome they are without an ex, stalking them to investigate their progress is what I call break up competition. A total madness.
Come on guys, this is real. Take a spot check on the social pages of your dejected friends who feels their partners took them for a ride. You could see a first order violence indirectly meted out on them in terms of: lurid tittle-tattle, suggestive pics which are meant to outshine and all manner of sinister phraseologies. All these are meant to reel them back into nolstagic hell as much as they try to flee into the future.
Just a few examples of facebook posts and WhatsApp status updates:
“I heard that you are a player, nice to meet you, I’m the new coach”
“I would not complain if climatic change saw an end to, say, mosquitoes, hadedas and sharks. Or anything really, that thinks it can bite me or shout at me before the sun even rises. I’m including an ex-boyfriend here.”
“More bold and more beautiful and more happy.”
Every human being is born with some degree of competition in their blood but the one place this primal trait should never rear its ugly face is after break ups. It makes you miserable, it is time consuming and expensive.
I’m no expert on breakups management. To be honest, I suck at them and avoid any confrontation that it can bring. But doing these activities to obliterate past memories will be your panacea for piece of mind:
- Block them. On everything. And anything. It sounds harsh, and unecesssry but, it is truly the only thing that will finally let go of the sadness and pain that breakups bring. Out of site out of mind. When you don’t see their pictures pop up everywhere, you will start to adapt to a life without them. You will not feel the urge to see what they are up to. Clicking on that block button will make your future self thank you. And your ex will probably be thankful too.
- Unfollow on instagran. While it may feel extreme and aggressive, it feels unhealthy to be bombarded with photos, period.
- Recondition your mind to associate those things you used to do with your partner with other people. Simple, overwrite your ex.
- Beat bad memories with busy work. We don’t have time to waste daydreaming about ‘What ifs.’ Use every second of your time to optimize your lifestyle.
- Show you still care. While your ex may fire some social media jabs, it is imperative you refrain from revenge. They always expect you to retaliate and defend yourself. They want to feel they have a hold over you and a degree of control. By responding to their pettiness, you are indicating you still care and that your life is impacted by what they have to say about you.
- Move on with your life and let someone who is on your level find you. Your ex is not.
- Repeat after me: Stop following your Ex on Social Media.