Every high school (at least as they come across to me) had enough bunch of brethren from Nairobi – whether an inner city kid or suburbanite. They nourished and maintained a yuppie culture – an urbanized affluent lifestyle. But beneath the veneer of affluence and style was an emerging cult of entitlement that became pervasive and entrenched in our schools.
Aha! Wondrous nairobians. You talk of a new hit song and they are rapping towards the dormitory. You mention your favourite footballer and there they are, giving the history and all the literature of Man U.
They had cocoa, and blue band, and detol. Four vests, 3 pairs of socks, deodorant and a couple of pants branded Maywhether (have you seen them).
Nairobians don’t just become your friend. You must demonstrate shared values. You must be able to regurgitate all rap songs, prove you can mimic rastafarans or talk in italics. The average nairobian kid makes an open disavowal to those who live simply like their ancestors once did. Nairobi kids want to be musicians and deejays yet, no one is putting in what goes into that. They want to be global talents through word of mouth. Where are your songs?
You must also be conversant with world superstars – their relationships, love scandals, type of cars they drive, amount they weigh, number of tattoo and, whether or not they are installed in illuminati. How difficult it is to be a nairobian!
Difficult because, for one, everyone around you think you are crazy. For another, you have to assert your will singly through this yuppie culture no matter what.
Moreover, Nairobi kids don’t just walk like you – throwing your legs wherever whenever. To them, walking is something you have to be particular about – it is a vehicle for self-expression.
They walk with trousers down there, as if they had another set of buttocks! They talk too like niggas. If rural kids were fastidious about life and style, and religiously looked for a certificate of occupation to this class of culture, they would not get them.
But they did not escape the wrath of commoners. Nairobians were lambasted as excessively consumptive in their pursuit of a more dominant ideological and cultural paradigm in our schools without much regard for those from upcountry.
In as much as they tried to operate unencumbered by restrictive school regulations, their yuppie heyday was short lived. By the time a nairobian will be done connecting all the aspects of their culture, an exam certificate would have returned a grade D downstairs and a rural kid would have passed, scoring an A – even in Kiswahili they don’t know how to speak.